maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
