haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
