Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
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