If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
