i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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