Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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