You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
You can't special order awesome
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
There are leaves in my underwear?
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