I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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