She announced her abortion via fbk
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
