I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
