Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
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Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
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is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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