The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
