You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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