I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize