I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
