I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
