I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
