My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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