it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize