All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
