I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
