Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
All the doctor said was why
Randomize