um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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