pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
This toilet bowl is my home.
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