one two three fourrrrnication!
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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