i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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