Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
