do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
