I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
im six kinds of drunk right now
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
