I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
