I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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