He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
