I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one acquire holy water?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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