Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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