If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
