I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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