they call him Oral-B. enough said
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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