mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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