It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
