Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I could fuck to npr.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize