She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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