It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
