So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
