the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
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i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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