you mean i was at the winter classic?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
