I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
