Yo dont text me then not text me
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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