And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
