# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
