im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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