that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
