Texts From Last Night

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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.

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  (504): I think horse shit smells the best of all shits. http://tfl.nu/6fku
  Replies (35) Good night (1086) Bad night (2902)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.

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  (870): I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership. http://tfl.nu/f8ej
  Replies (50) Good night (6693) Bad night (1460)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!

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  (856): FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?! http://tfl.nu/ganv
  Replies (70) Good night (5203) Bad night (9718)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.

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  (508): Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you. http://tfl.nu/gxjs
  Replies (10) Good night (6337) Bad night (905)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week

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  (732): hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week http://tfl.nu/ig19
  Replies (9) Good night (3093) Bad night (946)
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  (949): View more from California

  Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.

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  (949): Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits. http://tfl.nu/xzwv
  Replies (4) Good night (2427) Bad night (764)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.

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  (303): Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit. http://tfl.nu/weri
  Replies (1) Good night (527) Bad night (1439)
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  (646): View more from New York

  I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..

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  (646): I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me.. http://tfl.nu/zo74
  Replies (9) Good night (800) Bad night (1369)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt

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  (651): I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt http://tfl.nu/h1u7
  Replies (9) Good night (717) Bad night (2602)
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  (323): View more from California

  BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"

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  (323): BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come" http://tfl.nu/th7x
  Replies (3) Good night (1123) Bad night (562)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.

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  (414): You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze. (414): After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned. http://tfl.nu/wsrv
  Replies (6) Good night (1405) Bad night (483)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.

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  (215): spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover. http://tfl.nu/j4hn
  Replies (1) Good night (505) Bad night (331)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY

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  (425): Sexual Frustration City, population: Me. (423): I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY http://tfl.nu/7zd6
  Replies (3) Good night (515) Bad night (590)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails

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  (703): I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails http://tfl.nu/g65f
  Replies (2) Good night (334) Bad night (553)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?

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  (352): He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound? http://tfl.nu/fs09
  Replies (3) Good night (1158) Bad night (279)

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