Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees

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(201): we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees http://tfl.nu/26hp

Replies (43) Good night (3038) Bad night (975)
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(248): View more from Michigan

so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision

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(248): so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision http://tfl.nu/5juy

Replies (16) Good night (709) Bad night (3690)
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(207): View more from Maine

there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets

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(207): there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets http://tfl.nu/n8se

Replies (23) Good night (1555) Bad night (8151)
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(330): View more from Ohio

She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.

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(330): She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay. http://tfl.nu/hfdj

Replies (19) Good night (10623) Bad night (1235)
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(310): View more from California

He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.

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(310): He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical. http://tfl.nu/e9fk

Replies (12) Good night (4434) Bad night (794)
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(206): View more from Washington

My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.

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(206): My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas. http://tfl.nu/jpxs

Replies (13) Good night (6225) Bad night (758)
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(804): View more from Virginia

I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.

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(804): I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success. http://tfl.nu/kq4s

Replies (8) Good night (3097) Bad night (822)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.

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(303): I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window. http://tfl.nu/dr4o

Replies (5) Good night (3235) Bad night (871)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"

(774): View more from Massachusetts

It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"

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(774): If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?" (774): It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?" http://tfl.nu/cbil

Replies (8) Good night (2592) Bad night (653)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?

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(215): Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave? http://tfl.nu/vjuq

Replies (11) Good night (2325) Bad night (670)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.

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(774): We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot. http://tfl.nu/pm9n

Replies (7) Good night (1796) Bad night (546)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.

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(720): Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something. http://tfl.nu/z9g9

Replies (18) Good night (928) Bad night (2230)
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(416): View more from Toronto

You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.

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(416): You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/90l8

Replies (3) Good night (982) Bad night (320)
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(905): View more from Ontario

Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.

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(905): Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk. http://tfl.nu/f6av

Replies (3) Good night (705) Bad night (310)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.

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(615): I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit. http://tfl.nu/izdb

Replies (2) Good night (175) Bad night (283)

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