So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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