i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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