Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America. http://tfl.nu/aex4
  Replies (15) Good night (7591) Bad night (751)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile. http://tfl.nu/y928
  Replies (5) Good night (5502) Bad night (1025)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot. http://tfl.nu/jbjf
  Replies (8) Good night (3126) Bad night (853)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza http://tfl.nu/lbxf
  Replies (9) Good night (1761) Bad night (1853)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night http://tfl.nu/h2y4
  Replies (6) Good night (2652) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table. http://tfl.nu/x7xh
  Replies (3) Good night (1802) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest. http://tfl.nu/16wx
  Replies (2) Good night (922) Bad night (1394)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me! http://tfl.nu/u8n7
  Replies (2) Good night (1237) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview http://tfl.nu/suz9
  Replies (5) Good night (1134) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right? http://tfl.nu/6yne
  Replies (5) Good night (1334) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture. http://tfl.nu/qb04
  Replies (3) Good night (945) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none. http://tfl.nu/avo6
  Replies (2) Good night (949) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Why were you not born a dude?

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  Because god wanted to level the playing field

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): Why were you not born a dude? (1-727): Because god wanted to level the playing field http://tfl.nu/5cfo
  Replies (3) Good night (1051) Bad night (312)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me. http://tfl.nu/s0vs
  Replies (1) Good night (574) Bad night (269)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there. http://tfl.nu/imls
  Replies (1) Good night (377) Bad night (167)

Randomize