Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet. http://tfl.nu/cgw3
  Replies (61) Good night (5030) Bad night (1173)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila. http://tfl.nu/o38m
  Replies (36) Good night (1319) Bad night (6303)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game. http://tfl.nu/oyv6
  Replies (15) Good night (4367) Bad night (1070)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B. http://tfl.nu/8gac
  Replies (22) Good night (1045) Bad night (6057)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with http://tfl.nu/1h68
  Replies (5) Good night (1620) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on http://tfl.nu/ht4d
  Replies (9) Good night (1791) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously. http://tfl.nu/aavt
  Replies (6) Good night (1201) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now http://tfl.nu/3rta
  Replies (5) Good night (1518) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality. http://tfl.nu/t1cp
  Replies (9) Good night (1035) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test. http://tfl.nu/65e0
  Replies (10) Good night (596) Bad night (1128)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays. http://tfl.nu/7cee
  Replies (2) Good night (3476) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (+49): View more from Germany

  Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+49): Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant. http://tfl.nu/6o3i
  Replies (7) Good night (548) Bad night (1156)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (623): Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God. http://tfl.nu/6yhq
  Replies (2) Good night (714) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch http://tfl.nu/3jsr
  Replies (0) Good night (171) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins? http://tfl.nu/zr7p
  Replies (7) Good night (824) Bad night (290)

Randomize