whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes