OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.