I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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