i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
