Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?

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(817): View more from Texas

she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.

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(410): View more from Maryland

She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.

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(415): View more from California

Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage

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(636): View more from Missouri

it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.

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(863): View more from Florida

On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?

(1-863): View more from Florida

Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".

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(708): View more from Illinois

they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.

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